Welcome to my blog. This place is an outlet for my writing and my thoughts — like an average run-of-the-mill blog, but with a creative, semi-fictional twist. The character's environments and actions are usually fictional (though not always), but his thoughts are my own, word for word. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Part Ten.

I walk along this familiar road, listening to familiar voices. The summer sun warms me to the point of discomfort, though it's not unbearable.

It's time to separate the good from the bad, I've reasoned. The trustworthy from the unworthy; the almighty from the powerless. Even if that means throwing myself in harms way every once in a while.

I approach the café & bookstore, somewhat unsure of what to do next. I decide to enter, and am plunged into a new world—small as it might be.

"Nothing worth having in life comes easy", a disgruntled doctor once told me. I used to take that as, "you have to suffer to get what you want," and that stopped me from taking chances. I now realize there's more than one way to play this game.

I scan the books, examining their presentation. Some are obviously old, their spines streaked with white, cracked lines. I arrive at the section I came for and begin searching for those special words; that distinctive visual. After triple checking, I continue across the shelves to a new section, my hands remaining empty.

I've noticed the pressure of the world more often lately. The periods off on my own are of a stark contrast to the rest of my time; indeed, even the rest of the world. Perhaps I give myself too much credit. Or perhaps others don't give themselves enough.

"No thanks, I'm just looking," I reply to the employee, a young man not much older than myself. Though he seems more relaxed than other employees at other establishments, I still feel he is trying too hard. But would I really be any different?

Perhaps I give myself too much credit.

I leave the café enriched. Not astronomically, and indeed, others will not even notice this small change unless it's compounded with more of the same. But it's there. What will happen with it is in my hands, though I don't like to admit it. I prefer to listen to my feelings and trust that they will guide me to where I need to go. Perhaps I give myself too much credit.

Or perhaps others don't give themselves enough.

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